so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
