beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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