my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
