Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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