I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
