I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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