Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize