weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
