Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
