Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
