The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize