I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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