was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
