Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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