This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize