wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
