I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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