with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
