Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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