My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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