Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize