Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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