dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
