I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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