There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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