meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
