super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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