i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
