When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
