my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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