Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
