i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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