It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.â€
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
