hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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