we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
