The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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