my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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