I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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