Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I looked at my own cervix.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
