I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize