my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
