AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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