Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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