Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
