Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
