I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
