I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize