Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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