i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My pussy is not your playground.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
