Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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