I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
