Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize