I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
