D3 body, D1 cock
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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