who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize