I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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