You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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