ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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