Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
