would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
