I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
