She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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