Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
