I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
