so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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