I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
