Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she smelled like a LAN party
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
As shirtless as possible
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
