just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
