Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
