that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
