never play flip cup with pint glasses
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Randomize
